A heavy heart is what I have at the moment. It got me thinking how many of us have a heavy heart at some time or another and often we won’t speak of it, we just get on with things and hope it passes, or whatever caused it resolves itself. The usual things like Family problems, love life, or health, are the culprits, mostly things we have no control over. We all have to contend with it and everyone has different ways of dealing with it.
Yoga and meditation has helped me through some tough times and I hope that I pass that on through my teaching of relaxation and meditation techniques. Sometimes we have to face the fact that it may not help. Being still and meditating is definitely not for me right now, I have to be doing. This heavy heart will not disappear when something needs to be done. It’s a helpless, hopeless feeling where you know you have to do something. Meditation and relaxation, is not going to work, it feels frustrating, when that happens, just accept it, let it go for a bit. When I have exhausted all avenues of resolving my heavy heart, I will spend time with my meditation practice.
So what has caused this heavy heart?
I can speak of this particular subject; as a huge animal lover and spent my decade in Spain involved in animal advocacy and rescue, alongside running the retreat with Dan, I have had a heavy heart many times over animals. A few months ago I was involved in the rescue of a beautiful Pointer dog abandoned on a golf resort. We named her Ella; poor girl was so thin, nothing more than a skeleton, with hanging teats and a pained and drawn face from malnutrition and dehydration. She had given up. So Ella happily allowed us to lead her to the car and bring her home; once warm and fed and realising she was safe, she learned to snuggle up on the sofa, something she clearly had never done before.
A visit to the vet discovered she was riddled with large, possibly nasty mammary tumours. A rescued dog is always difficult; funds are not readily there for these dogs but luckily some kind people following her story on social media, donated to her operation and treatment. A few months down the line she was really perking up, putting on some weight around those bones and a gaining shiny coat and energy.
Good news was Ella did not have the worst kind of cancer and her prognosis was good, she was going to live and she had everything to live for. Last Week we took her to the vet to have her stitches removed and a check-up –‘a different dog,’ the vet said with a smile, she was perfect. The icing on the cake was the next day we had an offer from a great UK rescue, who had homed four pointers for me in the past. I knew Ella was going to a long and happy life.
We had dropped her to a friend in the next village, who would carry on with her care, as we had to get back to focusing on work. Two days later she got out, we don’t know how and she was gone.
Those that have stayed here will know what a vast area of farmland and countryside we live in. We even had a man with a drone to help.
This is the 5th day of her missing.
My heavy heart has filled me like a great weight but I can only keep moving till she is found. I don’t have answers to easing a heavy heart, only to keep doing everything possible.
People do think that when you teach, or practice Yoga, you don’t have any trouble dealing with problems, we walk around head in clouds and a Mona Lisa smile, mmm not! Certainly Yoga helps to be a better person, to have awareness and compassion but unfortunately it can’t bring back a lost dog.
Update on this story below
On the 12th January we got beautiful Ella back safe and well. She had been picked up shortly after her disappearance by some military men and they kept her in a disused military base. Her photo was spotted on Facebook and sent to me. On the 18th January she will travel to UK to be rehomed. We are going to miss her so much but my heart is now lighter.